Joys of summer

Technically speaking, it isn't really very warm out, but Stella and I are highly motivated to enjoy some of the swimming options available around Lebanon these days. Last week, we made use of a sunny day to head down to the Corniche and try out the water.

At the last minute, Stella decided that the waves were a bit too loud, and decided to stick with some rather shallow tide pools that were free of any cantankerous waves.



I splashed around with her for a while before wandering off to go check the breakers for sharks. You can never be too careful about sharks.



Anyway while I was gone, my wife had some loustabout hoodlums yell unpleasentries at her from the walkway. Grrrr

Not to be deterred, we moved down the coast a bit. There was a small herd of crabs hanging out in a small cavelet, so I scooped one up to show to the girls. While Stella is a lot more mobile, the crab would have to be highly arthritic to stick around long enough for Danielle to get a good look. Drawing on my deep respect for life, I gently let the crab go so it could eat enough scum and filth to get big enough to be turned into someone else’s dinner later on.

How to rob a bank

Looks like these crooks had it all figured out. They picked a bank right next to an Army barracks and robbed it in broad daylight, with a fake grenade. Stragenly, the security cameras happen to be turned off for maintenance. Oh, and the staff didn't trigger the alarm until after they were gone.

Hmmmm

Fully story here.

Luna Park

I had thought that taking some time off from work would leave me more free time to blog. I had even decided that I should probably limit myself to one post a day so I didn’t saturate things. Silly me. We’ve been having all sorts of fun, but for some reason, there is an inversely proportional relationship between having a great time and blogging about it….

That being said, I’d like to give my endorsement to Luna Park. The four of us wandered down there in the middle of the afternoon this week, and the place was absolutely deserted. We were quite literally the only guests there. We thought they might chase us off, but this was not the case. They were quite happy to have us around, and started up any ride we wanted to go on. The fee usually amounts to about 60 cents per adult. It was the easiest, most convenient amusement park I have ever been to.

Stella had a great time on the Ferris wheel, which also provided a great view of the coast.



The hydraulic airplanes were also nice but defitintely needed adult accompaniment. The little darling would have been sent flying by the centrifugal force.



Oddly enough, some friends of ours from the German playground showed up at about this point. They were the only other people in the park.



One of the rides left a little something to be desired. I’m normally pretty enthusiastic about a good tilt-a-whirl, but this one seemed a little dodgy.



Is that an exhibitionist she-hulk in some kind of reverie?

Yes, I know it’s potentially lethal

The volume on our television has been growing progressively less responsive lately. Yesterday, the whole set shut down. It was making an admirable effort, but it was failing the critical image on the screen test. Being the cyberguy that I am, I could not just leave the thing alone, or call for a so-called “repair man”.

Televisions contain enough juice to provide a one-way ticket to the cemetery, but I was undeterred. Being a graduate of what passes for Boy Scouts in North Carolina, I’ve seen folks eat poison, chop limbs and burn down medium-sized sections of a National Park (true story). I take this as evidence that the natural consequences of risk-taking behavior happen to other people.



I cracked it open and low and behold, was able to find a spot on the main circuit board that had corroded. This section was responsible for the volume subsystem, so I was feeling pretty confident in my ace deductive reasoning. I had hoped that the problem was caused by the corrosion creating a short circuit. If this was the case, there was a chance it could be fixed by simply cleaning it. Unfortunately, no dice.

My sister-in-law gave me a swanky portable microscope for Christmas, so I whipped that out for a closer look. Some of the wiring had been completely eaten through and simply wasn’t there anymore. Electricity had been flowing through a mixture of oxidant and a steadily decreasing amount of wire. Poor little TV, it tried so hard.

Anyway, it’s dead and I’m alive so that’s the end of the story.

A certain subtext...

I doubt the people who made this sign are aware of the potential alternate meanings here. Anyway, Andy, this one's for you:

Not too smart

Hey baby, I drive a Brabus. A Smart Brabus. Wanna go for a ride?

Debate skills 101

Discussing things with a three year old requires certain artistry. At that age, they are starting think more logically, but it’s still a work in progress. This charming exchange I had with Stella this afternoon illustrates the principle:

Me: Stella, you are not allowed to ride your bike in the house. You have to ride it on the balcony.

Stella: No! I want to ride it!

Me: You can ride it, but only on the balcony.

Stella: I like eggs

Me: *Stunned*

Mary Ann: You should blog that.

Signage

After all the interest generated by the last sign a posted, I thought I would post another one. Anyone want to guess what the "Live Fast Food" might entail?



I'm reminded powerfully of a scene from the child-traumatizing movie Dark Crystal, where these charmers dine on a bowl of live mice-like things. Not the most appetizing memory.



No, I did not wait around for the establishment to open up and find out from the proprietor what their sign meant.

What do they sell there?

Based on what they are dispalying in the windows, I think this is supposed to be a toystore. Based on the sign, I have no idea whatsoever.


Sorry for the glare from the flash, but I had to take this picture on short notice while in the car.

Solving the problem the Lebanese way...

Having previously blogged about the serious lack of real pepper in my life, I would like to give you all a little update. From time to time, things inexplicably vanish from the Lebanese market. This could be medications, computer equipment, car parts, you name it. Typically, this problem is solved by that most effective of Lebanese tools, the wasta network.

For all those of you outside the country, “wasta” is a delightful little word full of so many layers of meaning. We don’t really have a single English word that encompases all the many definitions of wasta, but a good general translations would be “connections”. In these sorts of cases, it involves finding some friend of a friend who is flying into Lebanon from a better supplied location and persuading them to play mule for you.

In my case, I didn’t actually have to formally activate my wasta network. The problem was solved by the timely arrival of my mother, who saw it in the goodness of her heart to arrive in Lebanon with a pocket full of this:



Pepper packets from Turkey.

Yipee!

My new windows background

I took this picture while we were all on a walk to the park. I decided I liked it enough to be my new windows background for a while...

Today is a happy day

Lebensgefahr

Stella has recently developed a love of sunglasses. She accidentally broke her first pair, so we have been keeping an eye out for new ones. This has helped me appreciate how rare children’s sunglasses are in this country. A few days ago we were on an eerily successful shopping trip, when we discovered some likely candidates. The size and price were quite good, but the sticker left a little something to be desired…

Discovery

Stella has discovered that she can roll her tongue.

Advice urgently needed

Three days ago, my mother got quite sick. Within about two hours she went from normal to vomiting and bedridden. She couldn't keep anything down, and didn’t want to try for about a day. She then gradually came back up to speed over the course of 8 hours. We hoped it wasn't contagious, but last night the kids and I all started spontaneously throwing up at about 1 am. For the girls this happened at least twice, for me only once. I still went to work today, but didn’t eat anything.

The trouble is that Mary Ann is now showing symptoms. From the previous pattern, she’s probably going to be throwing up within about two hours. My question is, how do you prepare a bathroom for someone who is going to throw up to make the experience as pleasant/less horrible than it otherwise would be? I’ve just cleaned the bathroom, so everything is clean, sparkly and no longer smells like three people just spent the last day throwing up in there. Unfortunately, she really doesn’t like the smell of bleach, so my most powerful (and instinctive) weapon is out.

I think the smell is neutral at this point, but where to go from here? As anyone who watches commercials knows full well, girls love candles in their bathrooms, so I’ve done that. Also, She doesn’t have long hair, so the whole “a friend is someone who holds your hair when you are throwing up” thing isn’t going to apply…

Any ideas on what else I could do?

Decisions

For some reason, Stella has spontaneously decided that she no longer feels comfortable going down the big slide at the park by herself. She hasn’t had a bit of trouble for months, but now it’s different. Who knows, maybe she has started understanding the cause and effect relationship so often associated with gravity and tall objects.

Despite these misgivings, she still enthusiastically climbs up the slide, but then won’t go down without an escort. On a recent trip she seemed to be willing to handle the slide on her own. In this picture I’m reminding her that she has changed her mind about solo sliding for the last 20 or so attempts. She assures me she will do it herself.



As usual, I follow her up the ladder to prevent any nasty consequences from her loosing her footing. We’ve had her do this twice, and nothing reminds you of the proper role of a parent like catching your child as she falls from a 15 foot tall ladder. Oddly, she is not a bit afraid of the ladder...



She finally arrives at the top of the slide, and guess what? She changes her mind.



After assurances and persuasion, she is unmoved. Her majesty then decides to send an unequivocally clear signal on her position.



There’s always next time…

New Shirt

Paradise Found

Mary Ann has discovered a solution for the age old problem of babies pulling out their pacifiers at night. Generally, this problem requires some adult reparation, particularly when it’s dark. With the application of a bit of creative thinking, and minimal investment, behold the solution:



This is now pacifier paradise. No matter what happens during the night, the supply of pacifiers is always so plentiful that Danielle can solve the problem on her own without waking us up. This has resulted in the whole family sleeping through the night for no less than four nights in a row. Mary Ann is a genius.

I am most seriously displeased

Maybe it was because I just wrote the post below, but I had pepper on my mind when I went to the cafeteria this afternoon. Therefore, I noticed that there was a little basket containing little packets marked “Salt”, and low and behold “Pepper”. Since I’m fond of pepper, I was quite pleased about this.

I happily opened one up and began to sprinkle it on my food, foolishly believing that just because it was labeled “pepper”, it would actually be pepper. Silly me. It was in fact, cinnamon. Strangely it wasn’t pure cinnamon, I think it had some cloves and maybe something else on it. In any case, it should have been on a Christmas cookie somewhere, not on my lunch.

Vital and critical update

The peppershakers in our cafeteria are full of cinnamon. The salt shakers do indeed have salt in them, but in the year and a half I’ve been going to this cafeteria, I have yet to see any pepper whatsoever. Apparently, cinnamon is the preferred spice for Lebanese food. Can anyone offer a better explination?

That's interesting...

Americans' Ratings of United Nations Among Worst Ever

Our good friends over at Gallup have put out some interesting data on the good ol' UN. The isn't any information on causation for the approval ratings, but I do find it interesting that the highest rankings seem to come aroung the time of the first gulf war, and Sept. 11th. Maybe there was something else at work there, but the timelines do match up reasonably well.

On another point, I was had expected the approval ratings among Democracts to be higher than they were. Now, let's take a look at these figures for other regions in the world...

Witz

This is only funny if you know German…

****

Matthew: Want to try and guess what this German word means?

Mary Ann: Sure, go for it.

Matthew: Opduziert

Mary Ann: I have no idea. Hmmm… Does it mean saying “Du” to someone you should have said “Sie” to?

Matthew: That’s a really good guess, but no. It means autopsy.

Dirty but happy

This cursed black fingerprint powder is still fighting our efforts to get rid of it. The morning after the investigation, and after much scrubbing and vacuuming, this is what #2s knees and feet looked like after crawling through the living room for less than five minutes.



We were a little slow on the uptake though, and left her in her white clothes. It will come as no surprise that they were gray very shortly thereafter. Why this did not occur to us at the time is a mystery of hindsight.

Coping

Anyone have music suggestions for someone who's trying not to think about the fact that someone is watching his family's movements and breaking into our house to steal our stuff?

Robbed

Today, sometime between 1030 and 1130, someone broke into our apartment. They took our laptop, video camera, and digital still camera. All together, we’re out about $2,700.00 Whoever it was must have been keeping a pretty close watch on us for a while, because they timed their escapade for exactly when Mary Ann was out shopping. Fortunately, we had backed up the laptop recently, so she only lost about two days of work on her thesis.

I’m quite glad to all the help we got through my workplace. They sent me down to the main police station with a translator, which made things a lot easier. I’m fairly confident that the office I was in for starting the investigation used to be a jail cell at one point, but that just adds to the ambiance. I also got to see where they are storing the vehicles from the Harriri explosion, so that was another item of interest.

In the course of the investigation, it has come to light that the concierge was asked to change the locks on our apartment when we first moved in, but didn’t actually do it. This sheds some light on why there was no actual forced entry into the house. Whoever broke in used a key, or did a very good job picking the lock.

Things got a bit hectic this evening, with the landlord coming over, and a squad of forensic detectives dusting for prints and so forth. We had Danielle in her chair eating some chocolate, but in all the hustle and bustle she got a bit dirtier than she normally would have.



Later on, Mary Ann and I were both finger printed so they could compare our prints with the samples they lifted off the house. Tune in later for my witty insights on how to clean up the plague of black fingerprint dust.



Fortunately, we do have renter’s insurance, and it does cover this sort of thing. I’m curious to see how the claim process goes.

Let that be a lesson to you

To all you procurement officers out there who don't feel a rush to process paperwork, take a lesson from this guy who was kidnapped because UNICEF hadn't paid its bills (allegedly).

lone shark or swim with the crowd?

I am a rather self-motivated person. I’ve reached a wide variety of goals without anyone helping to motivate me. I’ve kept an exercise program going for several years, and done other stuff, like distance education. However, I’ve recently come to believe that being self-motivated is all well and good, but doing things like this is quite a bit more difficult than doing things in a team. Joggers do better when they run together, and the second child almost always develops faster than the first because the older child is setting the pace.

Now that I’ve had this brilliant revelation, I just need to figure out how to best apply it. Anyone out there want to change the world, learn Chinese, and write software?

Glad to see the sport is properly named....

Even though British English is supposedly the standard in the UN, the still got the name right on this new website:

UN Soccer Club

Lotta Lawyers

I am constantly amazed at how many lawyers find their way into the UN in one way or another. Obviously, the UN doesn't really practice law (except for the odd tribunal here or there). Most of these folks seem to be document jockeys in some kind of advocacy role. Women's issues, rights of childrent, etc. However, some of them are in really weird jobs, like peace keeping and such. Maybe the papery nature of the UN is attractive to people with good documentation skills...

Treffen

Today I met the only UN employee from Andorra. Apparently, they are still an under represented country, because they are allowed to have somewhere around 3-5 employees in the UN system.

Yeah, diversity.